mard ko dard nahi hota

Defying the laws of emotions

“Be a man”. “ Mard ko dard nahi hota”. “ Oh come on! Boys don’t cry”

How many times we end up saying these things to the male folk around us. Whether they are grown up adults or toddlers, the male chauvinism is deep rooted in  them even before they have understood the essence of being a man. A toddler who is still trying to comprehend the difference between a girl and a boy and is stumbling even to walk is introduced to this world of overrated adjectives and fake sense of pride. Being a male or for that matter being a female is no achievement. It is how God made us, wired us differently so that we could carry forward the human race. What we don’t realize in this mad race of genders is that we are not inculcating the biological difference between the two genders, we are instead creating a wall of characteristics on either sides which is ruining the essence of being human.

Emotions were a beautiful gift of God which he bestowed upon the mankind to express themselves and build bonds. But unfortunately this gender differentiating walls have trampled the feelings and sentiments of innumerable individuals. Yes, god made a difference and the society followed it. Adam was made powerful, rugged and strong to give manhood its character. And  to strike a balance in nature, Eve was made fragile, beautiful and emotional to give womanhood its beauty. But, nowhere did God mention that their feelings were also supposed to correspond to their physical appearances. The feeling of pain is felt equally by both the genders, so why is it acceptable that a woman can shed tears but a man has to hold his flood inside?
                                     When it comes to the society, since man is the torch bearer of the
entire clan, he should be the bread earner of the family, he has to be masculine, his body should be directly propotional to his masculinity, he cannot get weak in the knees, he cannot take wrong decision, he cannot ask for help, he cannot give up, he can’t afford to be emotional and he cannot cry. If he does cry by mistake, he isn’t man enough. Why such ardently tough rules for men? If we actually introspect in depth we might see that yes, some men are truly hard, tough and dynamic. But, many of them are just buried under a false sense of masculinity, a debri of social pressure. Leaving aside the feminist breed of women, it is normal for an average woman to ask for assistance to get out of a problem or a dire situation, she still remains a woman. But on the contrary if a man happens to do the same, he might just loose the right to claim his manhood.
                    Even in the case of a grave social calamity like divorce, it becomes compulsory for the man to be wrong. Issues in cohabitance and compatibility can arise in any couple which might lead the relation to a sad culmination. Even if he isn’t, since a divorce is filed, he has to be wrong somewhere or the other. Oh! He is a man, he will end up marrying someone else and restart his life. Poor the woman, her life is spoiled. Why is it so easily or rather by default accepted that yes a man will always remain comfortable even after a divorce? Has his house not broken? Have his emotions not brutally hurt? Hasn’t he lost a family? Hasn’t he suffered mentally and financially? In majority cases, hasn’t he lost the innocence of his kids in this adult battle? Has his marriage not come to a sour end? There are numerable cases in which these days women leave their jobs during an ongoing divorce case, or even hide their working status, in order to claim higher maintenance. Why does the ardent feminism disappear then? Women want equality in rights, so why don’t they claim equality in duties as well? Why a qualified woman has to give up her feminism for a superficial thing like money?
        Are we cheating the society or ourselves? A man might not be in a great financial condition himself, but its his duty to  become a bankrupt to take care of the expenses of his educated wife just because there is a separation and the law states so. It is amusing to see why and how are those feminists mum on this. Why we have women burning bras to ask for their rights, but when it comes to duties no bras are burnt. This article is not written to hurt anybody’s gender sentiments, but out of concern that why burden masculinity if feminism is a strength in itself. When a woman can get as tough as a man, why so much problem with a man getting soft? Why burry a man under the hard rules of the fake , ruthless society, when he has a chance to live a happy life too. Why force his emotions to take a back seat when he is a human too.